I shared this story with someone recently who was struggling with identity, confidence, and feeling stuck. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it applies to a lot of people—personally and professionally.
Some people will remember the early days of me doing all-out sprints in Jordans. I’m lucky my knees survived.
At the time, it made perfect sense to me.
Not because they were built for running. They weren’t. It made sense because they matched who I believed I was.
Basketball was my sport. Basketball had culture. It had confidence, energy, familiarity. It was part of my history. Running, on the other hand, was something you did for conditioning. It wasn’t something I identified with. It belonged to a different type of person.
That distinction mattered more than I understood.
Because many of us do this in life.
We step into something new while trying to preserve an old identity. We say we want growth, but we bring outdated self-perceptions into new environments. We want new results while staying emotionally attached to the version of ourselves that feels familiar.
That creates friction.
Eventually, after enough feedback, my stubborn ass bought real running shoes.
Small purchase.
Big shift.
The shoes didn’t magically change my life. They didn’t make me faster overnight. They didn’t transform me into a runner.
What they did do was signal that I was ready to take this new chapter seriously.
They helped me stop relating only to who I had been and become more open to who I was becoming.
That’s an important distinction.
Real change usually starts with action. You show up. You practice. You make better choices. You build consistency.
But sustainable change often requires something deeper: a shift in identity.
You stop saying, “I’m trying to do this.”
And start saying, “This is part of who I am now.”
That applies everywhere:
The person trying to become healthier while still seeing themselves as someone who always quits. The professional stepping into leadership while still thinking like they need permission. The person rebuilding after divorce, loss, or burnout while still defining themselves by the old chapter. The entrepreneur trying to grow while still attached to the safety of playing small.
Behavior matters.
But behavior becomes more powerful when it aligns with identity.
I had already started running before I bought those shoes. But it wasn’t until I changed how I saw myself that it started to feel meaningful.
Sometimes the next level of growth isn’t more effort.
It’s updating the story you keep telling yourself.
You don’t need to start running.
You don’t need to buy new shoes.
But if you’re stuck between who you’ve been and who you want to become, remember:
You don’t have to run in Jordans.
Rational Psychotherapy 