health – Rational Psychotherapy Concepts

The holidays have a funny way of amplifying everything—joy, nostalgia, expectations, and yes… family stress. Old roles resurface, familiar buttons get pushed (often expertly), and suddenly you’re reacting like you’re 14 again instead of the well-adjusted adult you worked so hard to be.

The goal isn’t to eliminate stress or conflict entirely (good luck with that!). It’s to manage it in a way that protects your energy, your values, and your sanity—while still allowing for connection, meaning, and maybe even a little fun.

Here are a few grounded (and realistic) ways to get through it:

1. Set boundaries for yourself

Have a game plan for how you want things to go. Boundaries aren’t about controlling other people. They’re about deciding what you will participate in.

This can look like:

Having a firm plan for how long you’ll stay somewhere
Deciding in advance, “If things escalate or get draining, I’m leaving”
Giving yourself permission to step away without over-explaining

Instead of trying to convince others to behave differently, you’re setting parameters for your own behavior. This shifts boundaries from confrontational to self-protective—and that’s usually far more effective.

2. Some conflict is okay (even during the holidays)

The holidays aren’t a conflict-free zone, and they don’t need to be.

People need feedback. If someone is pressuring you, ignoring your limits, or resorting to guilt, it’s reasonable to name what’s happening. You don’t have to shut down, explode, or silently endure it.

Sometimes the most regulated response sounds like:

“I’m not going to participate in this conversation.”
“That feels like guilt, and I’m opting out.”
“I’m open to talking, but not like this.”

Not everyone realizes their behavior is rude—or manipulative—or crossing a line. And even if they do, you’re allowed to acknowledge it in real time. I’m not a big believer in pretending things aren’t happening. You can “let them” do what they’re going to do and still name it.

3. Look for what you like. (Focus on the Fun)

When stress rises, attention narrows. We fixate on what’s annoying, uncomfortable, or disappointing. Focus less on who deserves coal and more on who deserves your presence 😉

Intentionally look for:

People you genuinely enjoy talking to
Small moments of calm
Opportunities for humor
Environmental pleasures (quiet snow, lights, a warm drink, the family pet)

This isn’t denial—it’s balance. You can acknowledge what’s hard and still orient toward what’s pleasant. Don’t just focus on the problem; focus on the fun, however small or fleeting it may be.

4. Keep nurturing your needs daily

Sacrifice is part of relationships. Losing yourself entirely is not.

Continue doing things that regulate you:

Reading
Exercising
Writing
Listening to music…that’s not Mariah Carey (unless that’s your thing—no judgment)

The holidays don’t require you to pause your identity or abandon the habits that keep you grounded. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s preventative care.

5. Lower the expectation bar (just a little or..)

Many people arrive at holiday gatherings with an unspoken script: This should be meaningful, memorable, peaceful, and deeply connecting.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Sometimes success looks like:

No major blowups
A few decent conversations
Leaving with your nervous system mostly intact
Advocating for yourself

Connection doesn’t have to be profound to be real. Let “good enough” count.

6. Remember: you don’t have to process everything in the moment.

Just because you notice something doesn’t mean it needs to be resolved over mashed potatoes.

Some insights are best saved for:

Later reflection
Therapy
A journal
A walk the next day

You’re allowed to observe without immediately engaging. Not every realization needs an audience.

Final Thought

The holidays don’t magically change family dynamics—they just put them under brighter lights. The aim isn’t perfection or total harmony. It’s showing up in a way that aligns with your values, protects your well-being, and leaves room for moments of connection where they naturally exist.

And if all else fails? You can always step outside, take a deep breath, and remind yourself: This is temporary.

As sunlight fades and winter closes in, many people begin to feel heavier, slower, and less motivated. For some, this shift goes beyond the typical “winter slump.” It becomes Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or seasonal affective disturbances—a recurrent form of depression linked to changes in light exposure and circadian biology.

SAD affects millions of people each year and often presents with symptoms such as:

Lowered mood or irritability

Fatigue or increased sleep

Cravings for carbohydrates or weight gain

Difficulty concentrating

Social withdrawal or decreased interest in activities

These symptoms arise because winter disrupts three key biological systems:

Circadian Rhythm – Reduced daylight throws off the internal clock that regulates sleep, hormones, and mood.

Serotonin Function – Less sunlight can reduce serotonin activity, a neurotransmitter tied to emotional stability.

Melatonin Production – Longer nights may cause melatonin to surge at the wrong times, increasing fatigue and slowing the body.

Understanding the science behind SAD helps reinforce why small, intentional behaviors can make such a meaningful difference.

Below are five research-supported strategies to help combat seasonal affective disturbances:

1. Do One Small Thing You Don’t Want to Do

Why it works:

This technique draws directly from behavioral activation, an evidence-based treatment for depression. When mood dips, the brain reduces activity in the prefrontal cortex (responsible for planning, focus, and action). Taking even a small step—washing one dish, responding to one email, walking for five minutes—re-engages those circuits.

Action precedes motivation.

The brain receives a reward signal (dopamine) when we complete small tasks, gradually lifting energy and mood.

2. Prioritize Sunlight to Reset Your Brain

Why it works:

Sunlight triggers specialized cells in your retina called intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells (ipRGCs) that communicate directly with the brain’s circadian clock. Just 5–10 minutes of sunlight in the morning can:

Boost serotonin production

Suppress excessive melatonin

Strengthen circadian rhythm regulation

Improve alertness and mood

Sunlight also helps regulate vitamin D, which plays a role in mood and immune function.

Many people experience deficiencies in winter, which may worsen depressive symptoms.

Even brief, intentional exposure makes a measurable difference.

3. Exercise to Activate the Mind–Body System

Why it works:

Physical activity increases levels of endorphins, dopamine, and brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF)—chemicals associated with mood improvement, motivation, and cognitive clarity. Exercise also:

Regulates stress hormones such as cortisol

Improves sleep quality

Enhances neuroplasticity, helping the brain adapt more effectively to stress

Mindful movement (walking, yoga, weight training, stretching) forces presence and interrupts the sedentary patterns that winter often promotes.

Even 10 minutes of daily movement can shift brain chemistry.

4. Tap Into Creative Endeavors to Engage Reward Pathways

Why it works:

Creative activities stimulate the brain’s default mode network (DMN) and enhance dopaminergic pathways, which are tied to pleasure, meaning, and motivation. Engaging in creative expression:

Reduces rumination by occupying cognitive bandwidth

Activates flow states, which increase emotional regulation

Strengthens a sense of purpose, which buffers against depressive symptoms

Writing, painting, crafting, building—these activities create tangible evidence of agency and accomplishment during a season that often feels stagnant.

5. Socialize Outside of Holiday Obligations

Why it works:

Human connection triggers the release of oxytocin, reduces stress responses, and protects the brain against depressive patterns. Social interaction also:

Increases dopamine and serotonin activity Regulates the nervous system through co-regulation

Reduces perceived isolation, a major contributor to SAD symptoms

These interactions don’t need to be deep or long.

A brief chat with a cashier, waving to a neighbor, or engaging someone at the gym can meaningfully stimulate neural pathways linked to belonging.

Micro-social interactions count.

Final Thought

Winter may dim the sunlight, but it does not have to dim you. By understanding the biological roots of seasonal affective disturbances—and pairing that knowledge with small, consistent, science-backed actions—you can build resilience, boost your emotional well-being, and stay connected through the darker months.

Tag: health

Home for the Holidays: Handling Family Stress

Combating the Winter Blues: Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder and How to Push Back