Why sharing our progress isn’t always about attention, and how it can help reinforce accountability, identity, and personal growth.

I’ve never been particularly found of self-promotion.

For years, I had a relatively unused professional social media account. I would occasionally share something related to my work as a therapist, but I never really made much of an effort to promote myself.

About a year ago, that started to change.

I began posting more consistently, initially sharing my workouts and running progress. Part of it was an attempt to connect with people from my gym, and part of it was an effort to become a little more comfortable promoting myself professionally too.

Recently, I started recognizing something about why I was sharing. It wasn’t necessarily about getting attention or recognition. I still don’t really like self promotion but it has become a way to hold myself accountable.

And I think that’s something we often overlook when we see other people sharing their accomplishments.

Not Every Accomplishment We See Online Is a Flex or Brag

We see it all the time on social media.

Someone posts their workout. Someone shares their race results. Someone celebrates a professional achievement, a personal milestone, or an accomplishment they’re proud of.

And sometimes our immediate reaction is to assume they’re showing off.

And truly, maybe they are.

There’s certainly no shortage of people using social media to seek attention, validation, or recognition. And frankly, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting a little recognition for something you’ve worked hard to achieve.

But I think we sometimes overlook another possibility.

What if the post isn’t really about what someone has accomplished?

What if it’s about their commitments?

It’s Not About the Last Three Days. It’s About the Next Five.

Recently I posted this on my social media. It refers to a particular challenge I committed to for this week. And it wasn’t about showing people how fast I can run, how much weight I can lift, or how consistently I’ve been exercising.

Sure, I’m proud of some of those accomplishments.

But when I shared that I’ve worked out “3 days out of 3,” I’m not just highlighting the last three days. I’m reinforcing my commitment to the next five.

Posting my progress becomes a reminder of a commitment I’ve made to myself.

I’ve decided that being physically active is important to me. I’ve decided that maintaining my health, challenging myself physically, and continuing to improve are things I want to prioritize for my mental and physical wellbeing.

And by sharing that progress, I’m reinforcing those commitments.

That doesn’t mean I’m always consistent.

There are days when I don’t feel like it. Days when I make excuses. Days when other responsibilities take priority.

And that’s precisely why accountability matters.

The goal isn’t to prove that I’m disciplined. It’s to encourage myself to keep practicing discipline.

Accountability Goes Beyond Fitness

I’ve noticed this same dynamic in other areas of my life.

When I share psychological insights, it’s not meant to demonstrate how good of a therapist I am or suggest that I’ve somehow mastered the concepts I discuss with clients.

In fact, I struggle with plenty of the same things I encourage my clients to work on.

I can recognize the importance of setting boundaries and still struggle to maintain them.

I can talk about being intentional with our time and still find myself getting distracted by things that don’t really matter.

I can encourage people to challenge their thinking while recognizing that I have my own assumptions and biases that need challenging.

Being a therapist doesn’t make me immune to the challenges of being human.

But sharing these ideas creates another opportunity for me to reflect on whether I’m practicing what I preach.

The same applies when I share moments with my daughter, family, or friends.

I’m not suggesting I have parenting figured out or that I always show up perfectly in my relationships.

I make mistakes. I get distracted. I sometimes fail to prioritize the people and relationships I claim are most important to me.

But acknowledging those relationships publicly can serve as a reminder to actively value them privately.

Because there’s a difference between saying something matters to us and consistently making choices that demonstrate it.

The Relationship Between Identity and Our Choices

There’s another psychological component to all of this that I find particularly interesting.

Identity.

We often think about identity as something relatively fixed.

“I’m a runner.”

“I’m a good parent.”

“I’m a hard worker.”

“I’m someone who values personal growth.”

But our identity isn’t simply a collection of labels we assign ourselves.

It’s also shaped and reinforced by the choices we make.

We don’t become runners simply by identifying as runners. We reinforce that identity by running.

We don’t become more present parents simply by describing ourselves as family-oriented. We reinforce that identity by making time for our children.

And we don’t become people who value personal growth simply by reading self-help books, attending therapy, or sharing inspirational quotes.

We reinforce that identity through our willingness to challenge ourselves, reflect on our behavior, and make changes.

Our choices help shape our identity, and our identity can influence the choices we make next.

This is where sharing our progress can become meaningful.

When I post about a workout, a psychological insight, or a personal milestone, I’m not necessarily declaring that I’ve achieved some ideal version of myself.

I’m acknowledging the identity I’m striving to build.

And reminding myself that my future choices need to support it.

But Posting Isn’t the Same as Doing

Of course, there’s an important distinction here.

Posting about our values doesn’t automatically mean we’re living by them.

Sharing workout statistics doesn’t make someone physically healthy.

Posting about relationships doesn’t make someone a great partner or parent.

And sharing psychological insights certainly doesn’t make someone emotionally mature.

Social media can just as easily become a place where we promote an idealized version of ourselves without doing the work necessary to live up to it.

There’s even a potential downside to publicly announcing our goals. Sometimes the recognition we receive for expressing an intention can provide a sense of accomplishment before we’ve actually followed through.

That’s why I think the distinction between attention and accountability matters.

Are we sharing something because we want people to believe something about us?

Or are we using it to reinforce something we want to believe through our own actions?

Neither motivation is necessarily exclusive. We can enjoy recognition while also wanting accountability.

But the important question is what happens after the post.

Do we continue showing up?

Do we follow through on the commitments we’ve made?

Do our choices align with the identity we’re trying to develop?

Or are we more invested in appearing to be a certain type of person than actually becoming that person?

The Real Flex

I’ve come to appreciate social media as something more than a platform for self-promotion.

It can also be a tool for reflection, connection, and accountability.

Not because sharing our progress guarantees we’ll follow through.

But because it can remind us of the things we’ve decided matter.

And sometimes we need those reminders.

We get comfortable. We get distracted. We become complacent. We fall into routines that don’t necessarily reflect our priorities.

As I often tell my clients, complacency and comfort can kill growth.

Personal growth requires us to continually examine whether our choices are consistent with our values and the identity we’re striving to build.

So the next time you see someone sharing a workout, a race, a professional milestone, or a personal accomplishment, consider that there might be more to it than self-promotion.

Maybe they’re celebrating something they’ve worked hard for.

Maybe they’re looking for a little recognition.

Or maybe they’re reminding themselves of a commitment they’re trying to maintain.

Because sometimes it’s not about attention.

It’s about accountability.

And the real flex isn’t the accomplishment we post.

It’s the commitment it represents.