From “Have To” to “Get To”: Practicing Gratitude in the Everyday

Gratitude is elusive. We know it’s available, but in the rush of daily life it can be difficult to recognize in the moment.

There’s value in what we might call grand gratitude—the ability to appreciate life as a whole. But that big-picture perspective can fade when we’re met with the sharp edges of stress, conflict, anxiety, or depression. In those moments, sweeping gratitude for “life itself” doesn’t always feel useful.

I often ask myself: I love my life, but do I love living it? Do I love every minute of it? Of course, it’s unreasonable to expect constant joy. But it raises a deeper question—how can I improve my relationship with gratitude?

One answer lies in reframing. Instead of telling myself I have to do something, I try to remind myself I get to. I get to do the things I don’t want to do. I get to live. I get to struggle. Each unwelcome task is still an opportunity—for growth, for strength, or for building resilience.

This shift feels especially relevant on Labor Day. We celebrate the chance to rest from work, but does that mean we can’t also celebrate the work itself? In America, our relationship with productivity is often demanding, even unhealthy. Work is tied to survival, status, and identity. Yet beyond making money, work can also serve as a source of purpose. What if we allowed ourselves to appreciate both sides—the days of rest and the days of labor?

The same applies to our inner lives. Just as we “get to” work for a paycheck, we also get to work on ourselves. We may not always want to, but the opportunity is there.

This is where mindfulness enters: it’s the practice of seeing opportunities where we might otherwise see burdens. To notice that we get to live, to get to struggle, to get to engage with the fullness of our human experience. Gratitude becomes less of a grand, abstract concept and more of an active, moment-to-moment practice.

The truth is, we don’t always have control over what life gives us. But we do have control over whether we see it as a burden—or as a gift we get to carry.

If you’d like to strengthen this practice, start small this week:

• Pick one task you usually dread. Before you begin, pause and reframe it from “I have to” into “I get to.”
• Notice what shifts. Even if the task doesn’t become enjoyable, see if it feels lighter, more purposeful, or more connected to growth.
• Build from there. Over time, these small reframes can accumulate into a deeper sense of everyday gratitude.

This is the kind of mindful reframing I often explore with clients—finding practical ways to cultivate resilience, reduce stress, and stay connected to purpose. If you’re interested in working on your own practice of gratitude and perspective, I’d love to connect. Together, we can turn the “have to’s” of your life into meaningful “get to’s.”

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Until next time,

David Zerella, LCSW