Be an Active Participant, Not a Passive Recipient

{4:06 minutes to read}  As part of the human experience, we all have our “bad” days:

• Typical daily tasks appear more menial and frustrating than usual.
• Added frustrations or unexpected difficulties arise which we couldn’t have foreseen.
• Other people get on our nerves more often.
• We are facing changes or transitions we don’t like.
• Not thinking, feeling, or looking our very best.

Sound familiar? These types of days happen to all of us.

There is a normalcy to the notion of a “bad” day. It can help us in communicating and relating to others. Similarly, it can help us to accept and deal with a day of unfortunate events.

However, we can also do ourselves a great disservice if we start believing the “day” (or week, month, or even year, for that matter) is truly “bad.” Giving in to the “bad” places the responsibility for the day on the environment and takes it away from us and our choices. To do that is to become a passive recipient in life.

When we take on the role of the passive recipient, the situation dictates our mood. Subsequently, we may be more prone to recognize and retain only the negative information consistent with our “having a bad day” viewpoint. Although it is admirable to be able to go with the flow, it is equally important not to let the flow take over our lives. We must challenge the idea that this is all life has to offer. We have to challenge the notion that the stressors or frustrations are the only things that life has in store for us.

We Have Choices

To be mindful or aware of our choices every day, unconditionally, and despite what life or the environment is putting out, is an opportunity to be an active participant in life. That is, life is not just something that happens to us. Life instead can be something that we can influence and shape to meet our needs and achieve our goals. There are limits to the things we can control, but we always have a choice.

Being an active participant starts with identifying our choices. Secondly, it requires we actively accept our choices, thoughts, and behaviors. The concepts of unconditional self-acceptance, “others acceptance,” and life acceptance are not passive roles.

Unfortunately, sometimes people perceive accepting to mean “allowing” or “ignoring” frustrating stimuli or situations, which would be passive, not active. This is where it becomes our responsibility to be an active participant in accepting life, others, and self. Moreover, it is our responsibility to actively seek pleasant, desirable, and enjoyable aspects of life, despite what stressors or stimuli life gives us on a particular day.

We can passively receive the frustrations of everyday life:

• commuting to work
• working
• not working
• dealing with others
• not getting to be with others
• not being appreciated or valued
• being treated unfairly

Or we can make a choice to

• see the beauty in our natural environment,
• look for the comedy or silliness of everyday life,
• recognize people helping others,
• get the opportunity to miss others,
• get the opportunity to learn how to deal with others
• find opportunities to grow, and
• overcome the daily challenges or frustrations in life.

Active participant, or passive recipient. Which will you choose?